What do i need to find?

I walk in silence,..
Trying to forget the violence.
Every day trying to forget the past,..
and all the feelings that couldn't last.
But to erase you from my mind,..
is not as simple as you walking out the door.
Trying to forget your forbidden name,..
and the glory of my forgotten fame.
But my mind is always stuck on the scene of your face,..
all i want to do is erase the memories from this place.
Every night i have strange dreams,..
in which no one ever hears my screams.
Everyday i sit alone in my room,..
the loneliness making it feel like a tomb.
My body is starting to rust,..
as is sit and decay, i turn into dust.
I'm waiting for my black knight,..
to come save me from this bright light.
You have turned my heart into stone,..
Because of all the times you've left me to stand alone.
But all these years,..
I've shed nothing but tears.
I've realized that there is no shinning knight,..
to stand by me through this fight.
I've left that childish fairy tale behind,..
now i know what it is i need to find,..