Emptiness

I bury myself under soft covers
Letting the warmth be my comfort
This darkness becomes my reflection
I lie down, forsaken
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!
Pain wracks my chest
Ribs shaking
Bones aching
I weep
Letting all my despairs out
for the first time in years
Letting my heartache pour from my eyes
Feeling abused
The pain in my chest increases
Spreading through my whole body
I accept that i'm gonna die soon
I surrender to the sound of my sobbing
I feel the warm tears dripping from my eyelashes    
After all these years,..
Why am I still so alone
This veil is my shield
I hide behind a fake smile
Like armour
To cover up my wounds
beneath the metal
I hide from them
Those who stole my happiness
Even my teddy has left me alone tonight
After being rejected
For the third time today
My stronghold bursts
All the walls of protection comes crashing down
Leaving my centre defenceless
I roll into a tight ball
Covering my broken heart
I embrace the darkness that surrounds me
The shadows become my only friend
It understands what its like to be invisible
And the meaning of being alone
Black hands comfort me
My clenched teeth, tries to hold back screams
But they scratch at the back of my throat
Trying desperately to get out
Through the tears I weep
I empty my mind
Empty it of everything
I make myself hollow
But I will never forget
I will never forgive